Act 3:
Bushwhacked Again

ACT 3, SCENE 1: Banana Republicans

SCENE: Florida, 2000. Gore demands a recount because of irregularities in the ballots, general confusion, and suspicions that the election was altered in Bush's favor (for more information, REFER TO THIS FLASH VIDEO). Katharine Harris, Secretary of State and co-chair of Bush's presidential campaign, did everything in her power to eliminate as many Florida Democrats' votes as possible. If a voter's name or birthdate was the same as that of a felon, that voter was "scrubbed" from the list of eligible voters, too. DBT, a private firm hired to regulate the voting procedure, didn't even attempt to verify whether these voters were truly ineligible; by an amazing coincidence, DBT is headed by staunch Republicans. Bush v. Gore eventually went to the Supreme Court, where the highest court in the land scraped the bottom of the barrel for any excuse to hand Bush the election. Presumably fearing a ruling like this might help a Democratic candidate one day, the court stated that this wasn't a precedent, but a one-time-only ruling because the circumstances were so unique. In the end, the names of 55,100 voters (mostly in Democratic areas) were "scrubbed", causing Gore to "lose" by just 537 votes.

KATHARINE HARRIS IS AT IT AGAIN
(to the tune of As The Caissons Go Rolling Along)

Gotta stop Albert Gore
Trashing ballots by the score
Katharine Harris is at it again

Gotta scrub felons' names
And yours, too, if it's the same
Katharine Harris is at it again

We hired DBT
And confused the elderly
Now we'll swear in a chimpanzee!
Though it's wrong-wrong-wrong
Everybody, play along!
Katharine Harris is at it again

Albert Gore we must trounce
Gotta stop the damned recounts
Katharine Harris is at it again

Let the world be in awe
For we are above the law
Katharine Harris is at it again

As a last resort
If Dubya comes out short
Just leave it to the highest court
Gore is gone-gone-gone
And we'll sing our right-wing song
Katharine Harris is at it again

 

ACT 3, SCENE 2: Sounds Familiar

SCENE: Just about anywhere in the United States, circa 2003. The economy is worse than ever, the deficit is bigger than that of all the previous Presidents (including Carter) combined--and that's not counting the multibillion dollar surplus which Clinton left behind, and which Bush squandered in a nanosecond. Overall, the U.S.A. is in worse shape than it has been in since the Great Depression. Big businesses are growing richer, thanks to tax breaks that encourage them to ship jobs overseas, but the middle class is becoming poorer as a result. Scarier still, is that all of this was also true when Dubya's father was the President. Except for the surplus part; of all the parting gifts Reagan left behind, a surplus was not among them.

OVERSEAS
(to the tune of Over There)

Overseas, overseas
See them exporting
All that they please
And the Yanks are losing
While Bush is snoozing
And our cars
Are all Japanese

Won't you please
Won't you please
Stop this outsourcing
Jobs overseas
Here's an idea
A panacea:
Let's take Bush's job
And we'll send it overseas

 

GOD SAVE AMERICA
(to the tune of God Bless America)

God save America, land in despair
Unemployment is rampant
And today "D.C." means "doesn't care"
From the homeless to the workers
To the school lunch programs, too
God save America from Dubya's crew
God save America from Dubya's crew
 

ACT 3, SCENE 3: 9/11 Aftermath

SCENE: After September 11, 2001, the world was united behind the USA, as we mourned the loss of over 3000 lives in a terrorist attack. The USA and its allies moved troops in to Afghanistan in search of the man behind the attacks, Osama bin Laden. But then Bush destroyed that feeling of solidarity as quickly as he spent the Clinton surplus, by moving into Iraq with his arrogant Middle East policy: "Bomb first, look for weapons of mass destruction later." In another "Like failure, like son" moment, we found ourselves at war with Saddam Hussein. Though no sane person supports Hussein and his evil reign of terror, this war did raise some burning questions, like:
  • Why does Bush claim to support our troops, while he reduces vets' benefits, and makes cuts in combat pay?
  • Why are the smear campaign against Kerry, banning stem-cell research, and mountain biking all taking priority over searching for bin Laden, the world's most-wanted criminal?
  • Why send troops to Iraq when the mess in Afghanistan has not yet been contained?
  • And why even suggest taking on Iran, when our troops are already spread too thin in Afghanistan and Iraq?
        Whatever...as far as the neo-Conservatives are concerned, George "AWOL" Bush is the best commander-in-chief ever, and they love his domestic policy, too. (Yet the middle-class neo-Cons are too stupid to realize that only the wealthy qualify for the Bush loopholes, while the rest of us are taxed to death.) Thinking their takeover of America is complete, they raise their voices in joyous song, invoking the words of the late Ronald Reagan during his stump speeches of 1984: "You ain't seen nothing yet," a sentence which is truly chilling when you consider what else the neo-Cons would like to do to America....

BATTLE HYMN OF THE REPUBLICANS
(to the tune of Battle Hymn of the Republic)

Mine eyes have seen
The right-wing revolution come of age
Now that Bill O'Reilly and his friends
Have taken center stage
We can pick Supreme Court judges
With our Bible-thumping gauge
You ain't seen nothing yet!

REFRAIN:
Dubya, Dubya, fill our larder!
And, as times are getting harder,
We'll blame Clinton, Gore, and Carter
You ain't seen nothing yet!

There's war on every side of us
And economic ruin
We don't listen to the Democrats
When they're predicting gloom
We don't care if you don't have a job
Oh, whine on, harvest moon!
You ain't seen nothing yet!

Invade some little countries
In the name of Uncle Sam
While our country is invaded
By the products from Japan
Do you think we're unrealistic?
Do you think we give a damn?
You ain't seen nothing yet!

We'll sock it to the handicapped,
The poor, and Medicare
We'll make sure the women,
Vets, and homeless
Never get their share
Tell me, where the hell's it written
That Conservatives are fair?
You ain't seen nothing yet!

 

ACT 3, SCENE 4: Wicked Witch Of The Right

SCENE: Various TV news shows. Of all the right-wing blowhards, certainly the most shrill and obnoxious of all is Ann Coulter, whose answer for everything seems to be killing anyone she doesn't like. Her penchant for hateful diatribes has earned her the nickname "Wicked Witch Of The Right", but even that doesn't do justice to the utterly vile thoughts that fester in her diseased brain before coming out of her mouth and pen in torrents of bile.

For example, her oft-quoted reaction to 9/11: "We should invade their countries, kill their leaders and convert them to Christianity." Believe it or not, people actually pay her quite handsomely to say crap like this! (Excuse me, but weren't we fighting a war in Afghanistan to free its citizens from people who think like her??)

And my personal favorite Coulter quote: "Anorexics never have boyfriends. ... That's one way to know you don't have anorexia, if you have a boyfriend." (Politically Incorrect, 7/21/97). Now, look at these photos of her, and tell me this isn't a woman with an eating disorder. Oh, wait, I just noticed -- she didn't include bulimics in that statement. So, does that mean she's bulimic? Or does she not have a boyfriend, and is attempting to explain this away as the result of anorexia, rather than her revolting personality? I'll leave it to you to decide....

It's not bad enough that people like Sean Hannity invite her on their shows and suck up to her, never censuring her for her hateful outbursts. No...being the "wonderful" role model that she is, some insane people actually decided to make a talking Ann Coulter doll. Imagine if this toy from hell had been around when Aqua penned their worldwide hit "Barbie Girl". Perhaps the lyrics would have been something like this....

ANNIE GIRL
(to the tune of Barbie Girl)

Sean: Hiya, Annie!
Annie: Hi, Sean!
Sean: You wanna be on my show?
Annie: Sure, Sean!
Sean: Come on....

 

REFRAIN:
I'm an Annie girl
In my Annie world
Cash and plastic
It's fantastic!
You can bleach my hair
My face is long and square
I'm patriotic?
No, I'm just psychotic

REPEAT REFRAIN

Come here Annie,
kiss your fanny

Annie:
I'm a blonde bitchy girl
In my fantasy world
Full of hatred,
I'm ranting and raving

Sean:
You're the doll
With the gall
Feel the rancor and rage
You give neo-cons
What they are craving

Annie (repeat 2x):
I can shriek, I can rave
If you'll say I'm on your show

REPEAT REFRAIN

Annie:
Diet pills, laxatives
Do whatever it takes
To stay so f*cking thin
That my arms look like rakes

Sean:
Like your style, you're so vile
Spewing venom and bile
You're profane, so insane
On a rampage

Annie (repeat 2x):
I can shriek, I can rave
If you'll say I'm on your show

REPEAT REFRAIN

 

Annie: Oh, I'm having so much fun!
Sean: Well, Annie, we're just getting started!
Annie: Oh, I love you, Sean!
 

CLICK HERE FOR ACT 4!

 
 

 
CLICK HERE TO RETURN TO THE INDEX PAGE
THE MUSICAL FREE STUFF OTHER FUN STUFF
ACT I: The 1980's

ACT II: The 1990's

ACT III: D-Dubya-I

ACT IV: Campaign '04

ACT IV (Part 2)

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