Act 4: Campaign '04
(Continued)

ACT 4, SCENE 5: "What, Me Worry?"

SCENE: September/October 2004. It's not bad enough that George W. Bush looks like Alfred E. Neuman, but he seems to share a basic life philosophy with the ugly MAD magazine poster boy, as well. As the casualties in Iraq continue to pile up in an atmosphere of utter chaos, Bush leads the pack of right-wing wackos spinning like tornadoes, telling us that things are going just great in Iraq. Former Democratic Presidential candidate General Wesley Clark called Bush "The Great Pretender". With Bush singing lead, and his toadies singing backup, I bring you....

THE GREAT PRETENDER
(to the tune of The Platters' hit by the same name)

Oh, yes, I'm the great pretender
Pretending Iraq's doing well
My greed is such, I can't have too much
I'm sending our troops straight to hell

Oh, yes, I'm the great pretender
Adrift in a world of my own
I'm throwing blame, and I have no shame
I've caused us to fight all alone

Too real is this feeling of make believe
Too real when I feel
What my lies can't conceal

Oh, yes, I'm the great pretender
I'll never admit I was wrong
Now, don't believe those who disagree
Just blindly come follow along
Pretending I'm actually strong

Too real is this feeling of make believe
Too real when I feel
What my lies can't conceal

Yes, I'm the great pretender
I'll never admit I was wrong
Now, don't believe those who disagree
Just blindly come follow along
Pretending I'm actually strong

 
 

ACT 4, SCENE 6: A Steaming Pile Of....

This was written by Keith Blevins, Liberal Patriot. Please click on his name to visit his web site, and enjoy his take on Campaign '04 here:

THE BALLAD OF GILLIGAN'S PILE
(to the tune of The Ballad Of Gilligan's Island)

Just sit right back
And you'll hear a tale,
A tale of some hateful sh*t,
That started from a Texas town,
Where lived a mighty twit.

His mate was a lying PR man,
A slippery, craven whore.
Five Justices said Heil that day,
You're free now to fuhr,
Free now to fuhr.

Now whether it was really tough,
Or if the path was paved,
If not for the bumbling
Of this reckless crew,
The towers might be saved,
The towers might be saved.

The sh*t slapped down
when the Jersey Girls
made them investigate ...
L'il Gilligan,
On Skipper's lap,
Oil millionaire...Condi Rice,
Still sleazy Karl,
Does his best,
To sell us Gilligan's Pile.

(Ending theme)
So this is the tale of the Simian,
And his fam'ly's reign of crime,
They've taken all the best of things,
(But, uhm, you know,
it's, uh, hard work,
very, very hard work...
I mean, uhhh, it's hard. You know?)

The Cokehead and the Skipper too,
Must do their very best,
Make Halliburton comfortable,
In their tropic island nest.

Cell phones, cool lights,
Big motor cars,
Keep them in luxury,
While US citizens foot the bill,
As gullible as can be.

So join us now and vote my friends,
It sure gives me a smile,
To know that we can castaway,
This stinking Gilligan's Pile.

 
 

ACT 4, SCENE 7: No Surrender?!?

Using Bruce Springsteen's "No Surrender" as his campaign theme song, John Kerry fired up the Democrats with a vow to make sure every vote was counted, and all voter fraud would be investigated. Bill Clinton, recuperating from quadruple bypass surgery, even joined him in the final days of the campaign, in an effort to get out the vote...including a stop in Albuquerque, despite the fact that the high altitude was a challenge to anyone, particularly someone recuperating from such a surgical procedure.

Their efforts paid off: Voters turned out in unprecedented numbers, waiting for five or six hours or more, just to cast their votes. Volunteers nationwide stationed themselves at the polls to report any hint of voter fraud...and sure enough, reports of suspicious problems with the electronic "black box" voting machines came out of Ohio and Florida--two states Bush needed to win. Diebold, the voting machine company, had promised to "deliver Ohio" to Bush...'nuff said?

So there was no winner declared that night, for the provisional ballots needed to be counted as well. To the shock and dismay of Democratic voters, though, John Kerry gave a concession speech the very next day...despite John Edwards' plea to wait until every legal avenue had been explored, to ensure that every vote had been counted. Kerry's stated reason? That there weren't enough provisional ballots to provide him with a win, anyway.

To hell with the fact that thousands of votes could very likely have been devoured by rigged machines. To hell with the fact that these votes might have made a difference to local candidates and local issues. All that mattered to John Kerry was whether HE was the winner.

Thus Kerry -- despite his "No Surrender" vow -- continued his tradition of caving in to the slightest opposition. According to Arizona governor Janet Napolitano, he could have won Arizona's 10 electoral votes with more effort and more TV ads, but he gave up on the state too quickly. When the Swift Boat Vets started their smear campaign, Kerry waited far too long to fight back, giving people the impression that he wasn't a fighter. He proved that impression horribly correct, when he caved in and conceded to Bush, before the votes were all counted and the charges of fraud investigated.

Many bitter voters called into radio programs on Air America, in tears -- not because of the Bush win, but the Kerry betrayal. Many other voters have vowed they'll never vote again, after having spent so much time and effort to wait for hours at the polls, only to have their votes ignored.

This part of my musical is therefore dedicated to this betrayal...with a prayer that some future Democratic candidate will be able to heal the wounds and restore the people's faith in the voting process and their candidates....

NO SURRENDER?
(to the tune of No Surrender)

We had a golden dream:
Take our land away from those fools
We learned more from a primary campaign
than we ever learned in school
Tonight I hear the volunteer workers' sound
I can feel my heart begin to pound
You say you're angry
and you just want your vote to count
and follow your dreams down

We'll make a promise
We swear we'll always remember
No retreat, believe us, no surrender
Like soldiers in the winter's night
with a vow to defend
No retreat, believe us, no surrender

Now the faces of young and old
Wait in the bitter cold
We swore blood brothers against the wind
The voting has begun again
And hear democracy
Calling them home from sea to shining sea
Believin' they could speak out against
GOP hypocrisy

We made a promise
We swore we'd always remember
No retreat, believe us, no surrender
Blood brothers in the winter night
with a vow to defend
No retreat, believe us, no surrender

Now on the street tonight the voters stand
They're wanting change, all across the land
Electronic voting boxes steal
Thousands of your votes again
Edwards promised the voters
Every vote would count
But I merely rolled over when I found
The ballots wouldn't give me a win

I broke a promise
I swore I'd always remember
I'll retreat, believe me, I'll surrender
Conceding in the winter night
F*** my vow to defend
I'll retreat, believe me, I'll surrender

 

STAY TUNED FOR MORE ACT 5:
"Can Howard Dean Save The Democratic Party?"

 
 

 
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THE MUSICAL FREE STUFF OTHER FUN STUFF
ACT I: The 1980's

ACT II: The 1990's

ACT III: D-Dubya-I

ACT IV: Campaign '04

ACT IV (Part 2)

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