THE G.O.P. PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE
Like father, like son....
"If this were a dictatorship, it'd be a heck of a lot easier, just so long as I'm the dictator."
If you're here, you're probably sick of all the right-wing windbags always shrieking about the "liberals". Depending on your age, you might not know a little-known fun fact...before "liberal" became a dirty word, the Republicans used to use the term "Communist" (a/k/a "Commie" or "Pinko"). No matter what the era or the terminology, it all boils down to the same thing: If you don't agree with these belligerent people, and believe their most outlandish lies, they'll accuse you of being anti-American. Ironically, what's anti-American is the right-wingers' desire to stifle anyone who speaks out against them (that "freedom of speech" thing always rankles them to no end).
I've been observing and writing humorous parody lyrics about politics since I was 19 years old, volunteering for Walter "Fritz" Mondale (not the greatest candidate in the world, but he had one big plus--he wasn't Reagan!). After the '84 landslide, I remember staying up till the wee hours, bemoaning another four years of Reagan, and yet celebrating the seemingly impossible election of a Democratic senator in a heavily Republican area of Nebraska. At some point during that sleepless night, I put pen to paper and wrote "Battle Hymn Of The Republicans", and thus my "musical" began.
Originally entitled, "You Ain't Seen Nothin' Yet" (Reagan's catchphrase in 1984), I revised it many times, eventually retitling it "It's Time For Them To Go" (Al Gore's catchphrase in 1992). What never fails to amaze me is how I can make most of these old songs topical again, just by changing the names...because the crap that the Republicans sling in our faces is forever the same, no matter which of them is doing the slinging.
This had always been a personal project for me, till the advent of the web. I've wanted to plaster these lyrics on the 'net for years, but real life always seemed to get in the way. Given the importance of the 2004 election, however, I decided to buckle down and get my creation on the web. I know it won't singlehandedly change the election, but in this era of right-wing spin doctors, every Democratic voice is important. I hope that, with humor, I can encourage you to speak out, and show the swing voters (and the world) that there's more to being American and being a patriot than just blindly following Bush into one war after another.
Equally important, I encourage you to make it clear to everybody that being a Democrat doesn't automatically make you a liberal...and even if you are a liberal, that's not a bad thing. Liberals gave us overtime, gave women the right to vote, and a host of other good benefits the Republicans take advantage of every day. The Democratic Party, unlike the GOP, is a melting pot of different people with different ideas and visions for this country. Let people know that we refuse to be lumped into one category, just because GOP is so willing to speak with one shrill voice, and let their party do their thinking for them.
To this end, I've also created some GOODIES FOR YOUR WEB PAGE, E-MAIL, OR BLOG. Please upload them to your own server (instructions are on that page, if you need them), because remote linking isn't allowed by Tripod. And if you use any of these images on your pages, a link to my page would be appreciated! :-)
If you're a right-winger who stumbled across this page by accident, or a desire to troll my guestbook (which is futile since I don't have one), don't worry--I haven't forgotten you. I'm not denying you your right to free speech by blocking hate e-mails, because you already have so many other places where you and like-minded people can express your opinions. So if my humor offends you, PLEASE CLICK HERE for a hilarious site that you will enjoy more.
I realize that some of you will be too young to remember some of the people and events mentioned in these lyrics. So I've added handy pop-up definitions to help you follow along. Whenever you see a name or part of a lyric in boldface type LIKE THIS, just hover over it with your mouse, for a quick explanation of who was doing what to whom. Even if you already know the cast of characters, I've hidden some additional jokes in these pop-ups, so mouse over the highlighted text, anyway, and have fun!
Without further adieu, scroll to the top or bottom of this page to navigate your way through this site. Thanks to John Kerry's rolling over to Bush less than 24 hours after the polls closed (so much for fighting for every vote to be counted), we still have Dubya to kick around till 2008. If he doesn't break the back of our country, first....
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ACT I: The 1980's
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